Answers to Questions I Know You'll Ask

Q: What’s it like being the smartest person in every room?
A: Exhausting. Imagine playing chess against toddlers while blindfolded. Eventually, you stop moving your pieces and just let them drool on the board.
Q: Do you ever feel misunderstood?
A: Constantly. I speak in metaphors, symbols, and quantum truths. Most people are still trying to decode emojis.
Q: How do you stay humble?
A: I don’t. Humility is for those who haven’t earned the right to be proud. I’ve earned it. Twice.
Q: What’s your workout routine?
A: I lift expectations. I run circles around logic. I bench press belief systems. My gym is the human psyche.
Q: Who inspires you?
A: Me, mostly. Occasionally Tesla. But even he didn’t have my flair for dramatic entrances.
Q: What would you say to your critics?
A: I’d say nothing. I’d simply stare at them until they question their own existence.
Q: What’s your greatest achievement?
A: Once, I convinced a room full of skeptics that they were all dreaming. One of them still hasn’t woken up.
Q: What’s your biggest regret?
A: That I was born into a species that still uses traffic lights and small talk.
Q: Are you available for private sessions?
A: Only if you pass the preliminary telepathic screening. If you didn’t feel this answer before reading it, you’ve already failed.